Blonde moment(s)

Wellllll..I'd went brown, and I love it. Brunettes are beautiful! However, I think I look better as a blonde...so I've now started my journey back to my roots... blonde! My goal is to maybe have an overall color of my natural color (a medium blonde) with lots of highlights of an even lighter blonde. Since I'm starting with a box-dyed chocolate brown it's going to be a process. I don't expect the perfect color right away.

1- Wednesday, June 9th 2010
         Went in with dark hair, the stylists said I should opt for hi-lights since I have dye in my hair. One, because it wouldn't be as hard on my hair/scalp..and Two, the color lifts a little unevenly usuallly and could have made my hair appear blotchy.  I got a VERY heavy weave with 20 volume on bottom, and 30 on top. (BC my hair is long and thick it takes a while to do)
         It surprisingly came out very well. They didn't even have to use toner! The colors lifted well and mostly not brassy, to champagne blonde color highlight. Overall, my hair is still darker than I want it, but it looks nice. I will heavily condition it and treat it for the next week or two to prepare for round two of dying/highlighting/or hwatever they do.

A vacation trip is one-third pleasure, fondly remembered, and two-thirds aggravation, entirely forgotten.-Robert Brault

Tomorrow is the big day, we leave for vacation! I'm going to work a half day then come home to finish packing, and take a BIG nap in preparation for the drive. (Though I'm sure my mind will be filled with so many passing thoughts, sleeping will seem impossible)

We'll be driving all night Thursday to arrive in St Marys Friday morning. No plans for Friday, just visiting people, maybe catching up on a little sleep. Saturday is the alumni parade/picnic, and that evening JT Woodruff (lead singer of Hawthorne Heights) and his band HH are having a show at my old HS. Should be really fun, but yet so wierd to be at a punk show in my former school. Sunday is Austin's high school graduation. Then monday or tuesday we're heading to Harold's family's in PA for the rest of our trip.

We'll have the puppies with us which is good because I'm always happy to have them around :) However, it does cause a little added stress because I am worried about them the whole time, lol.

Times are strange.

On a positive note: I dyed my hair after I said I would and I really love it. Pics coming shortly.

Now, some not so good news. First thing is first..my 8 month old neice Delaney is in the ICU at the hospital. They originally thought she had pneumonia, however, they soon discovered a tumor. It turned out that this tumor was wrapped around her spine and heart/lung area. Soon after they diagnosed her with a rare type of cancer "Neuroblastoma". They did surgery on Monday to remove as much as they could. They were able to remove it from her spine, however some of it near her heart still remains, due to it being so dangerous to remove it.While they were performing this surgery they also took samples of her bone marrow to run tests, to try and see what stage the cancer might be. Yesterday, I got the word that it is in fact, stage 4 cancer, and that the cancer is in her bones. This is obviously not the best of news, however, I do remain hopeful.

Just a week or so before that, my cousin Christopher found out that he has a brain tumor. He had went in due to having headaches, and after CT scans they discovered the tumor. He was hospitalized, and they put in a stent. Last I've heard now he is getting a second opinion at Duke on what the plan of action should be.

To be continued..

The only journey is the journey within

1 year ago I had done something that I never thought I'd do...I went brunette. For some changing hair colors is as common as changing clothes, however, for me it was something more. I'd spent my entire life as a blonde, and even as my hair began to get a little darker in high school and college, I strived to keep my hair the perfect blonde. I'd spend hours in the sun to lighten it with lemon juice, or get it highlighted. Eventually, I decided it was time to do some changing both on the inside and out.

I turned to *things* to comfort me, and found myself never being able to calm the hurt in me. My way of coping has always been to do as many things as possible to push things out of my mind...to push the pain out of my mind. I used to not be able to even speak about my childhood and growing up without coming to tears. Mostly, because I think I have never been able to properly deal with it all like I should.

Anyhow...I slowly started lightening my hair back up as time has passed over the last year, and just weeks ago I pretty much went back to blonde. I now realize it's not what I want. I have this feeling people expect me to be this cheerful (blonde) person they've always known...but the thing is, that person has been a lie. I was always very good at putting on a happy face. I've realized as I've matured that I can't do that anymore. People will have to take me or leave me...both the happy and darker parts of me. My past is what has made me who I am. My past has made me able to appreciate things more than others; my past has made me stubborn and unforgiving at times; my past has made me very strong willed; my past has made me very kind. I am all of these things....and I think I'm ready to shed the things that have always comforted me...and the first thing on my list is my blonde hair.

I think I may dye my hair brown this evening. Wish me luck.

I love 4 day weekends

I seriously don't have anything productive to say...but I fucking love 4 day weekends. Well I love weekends in general, but holiday ones are the shit. Seriously, what can beat having a few days off to do whatever the hell you want to do, AND be paid for it.

My mom and brothers were supposed to be coming down for their spring break this friday...but last minute mom said they weren't so that she could save money.  I think our friends Jason and Kristin are going to come over and eat with us on Easter so maybe that ham won't go to waste now.

WVU made it to the final 4 in NCAA Men's basketball. The game this saturday vs. Duke is gonna be a big one, and I'm excited for it. I hope we can hang in there and play some quality ball the entire game.

I'm seriously tired today...I feel like I suffer from fatigue sometimes...I always swear I'm going to take a nap when I get home, but when I do get home..I'm wide awake.

Better Days

I took Roxy and Rusty to get groomed yesterday and I think I asked to get their hair a little too short. I tend to keep Roxy's hair a little poofy..so now that it is short I'm amazed by how skinny she really is. She is a picky eater, and really active so I know she doesn't have anything wrong with her but I feel like people look at me and think "What a horrible mom she is starving her dog to death!!"

I haven't told anyone this, because it sort of stresses me out to talk about it... (well except a few girls i work with) but Harold and I are trying to get pregnant. Well let me rephrase that. We haven't been trying to NOT be for a year, but this past month or two we've really decided we want to actively try. I grew up in a big family, and love kids. I think I will be a great mother, I just can't help but worry all the time "What if I can't get pregnant!"

I'll write more later when I get time..